Toys for Grown Up Boys

Being a man doesn't mean you have to throw away your old toys. I mean, what kind of a world would it be without Green Army Men, Rock Em' Sock Em' Robots, or Space Invaders? Yeah, a world not worth living in. Unfortunately, society says it's inappropriate to have toys if we're grown ups... Screw society. Better yet, outsmart society.

Thanks to the wonderful sellers at Etsy, we can enjoy our toys as men. In a professional, adult way that doesn't make it look like our homes will be featured on "How to Catch a Predator." Check out these items that will update your home, apartment, man cave, or swanky dorm room with blast from the past.

Poor green army men... We loved you so much as a small man children, unfortunately we are larger men now and we cannot play with you anymore. Our dogs loved you too and our moms didn't enjoy it when casualties happened and Lucky vomited up your dismembered bodies. Plus, it really hurts when you walk on them in the night. Now, we can enjoy you and your loyal protection from invaders again.

Yes, that's a fancy Green Army Men bowl by AmongtheZinnias. This bowl is made by the fallen soldiers we once cherished as children. We're pretty sure this inspired by the ancient Nordic tradition of melting down dead soldiers and forming them into decorative bowls perfect for paper, nic-nacs, or car keys. Yes, definitely an ancient Nordic tradition.


Another Etsy seller who likes to use the bodies of our fallen heroes from the past is coolstoppers. Let's face it, wine is not really manly. It may be romantic, classy, or hip, but it ain't manly. Coolstoppers fixed that. They've repurposed the deceased boxers we know fondly as the Rock Em' Sock Em' robots and made them into wine stoppers. Classy, meet manly.

These would make great gifts for the wine drinker, fighter, or lover of small plastic robots in your life. This is an example of alcohol+Etsy that makes sense, unlike these gifts.

Okay, wine isn't your style, but you do like the direction this post was going with the robots... Check out these Transformer glasses by MossandWillow. Do not be surprised if after buying these your kitchen gets destroyed because they've transformed in your cupboard. Actually be surprised. Don't be surprised if everyone thinks you're awesome. That definitely will happen.

Now what childhood Etsy blogpost would be complete without looking at some fantastic items that combine video games with handmade creations.

Space Invaders has invaded Etsy--specifically, the Housewares section.

These quilted cushions are BAD ASS. Why are these cushions badass? Well...
1. SPACE INVADERS.
2. The quilted print features mini space invaders (also sold at voodoorabbit)
3. SPACE INVADERS, dammit!

These cushions have 81 quilted patches and come in three different Space Invader styles. Voodoorabbit, we salute you.

Did the wife or girlfriend already take over the living room with non-awesome pillows? Is your mancave without a couch deserving of these awesome pillows? Try these space invaders magnets and play Space Invaders on your fridge without a TV, electricity, or a arcade game.

Like we've already established, Space Invaders = BADASS. LittleMommaErin somehow managed to make magnets fun. Our suggestion, buy a buttload of these and recreate the world's favorite arcade game on your fridge. That, or hang up pictures or A+ papers or something.

You may have noticed we have been talking about childhood toys and video games but we've left out one major chunk of all of our childhoods. A certain Italian man. Yes, Mario. Check back later for our homage to Mario, Luigi, Yoshi, and the world of Etsy.