Beer + Etsy

When Etsy sellers sit around brainstorming how to reach the male market, one of the first things to pop into their heads is beer. Simple enough. Men like beer. They’d probably enjoy something I’m already good at making, just with a beer twist (off). We couldn’t pass up that bad joke.

Let it be known, most of the times this is not a good plan. In fact, it’s a rather ridiculous plan. Let’s review.

Beer + Yarn

Ah, the beer cozy. Nothing says masculine like going and grabbing a crocheted sleeve for your beer because the can is too cold. It even adds a certain flair to your Pabst Blue Ribbon. You’ll be the subject of envy with all of your guy friends with these fine beer cozies:

This seller loves PBR so much they photographed their cozy with a Budweiser.


Football AND Beer? How can you lose?


This beer cozy knows you'll be made fun of.

Beer Bottle Caps
Oh the endless possibilities! One of the easiest ways to upcycle someone’s drinking problem is by making use of all of those pesky bottle caps laying around. Who would have thought beer bottle caps could make such great…

Cuff links
Because who says an event that calls for cufflinks has to be classy?

Bedazzler
Add some flare to your regular accessories and make every man wonder, how can someone be so cool?

Total. Badass.

Casual alcoholism.


Professional alcoholism.

Magnets

Honestly we don’t know how these actually sell. It’s just bottle caps + superglue or a glue gun + magnets bought at a craft store. We can’t even think of something clever to say because we are that mad that people don’t see how easy that is to make at home.

Stupid magnets.


Really, just go buy a six pack and some magnets...

Gifts for that Special Girl in your Life

Is she extremely proud of her beer bong skills? Did you two meet at a frat party? Does she smell like a frat house? Does she want to appear as if she rolled around on the floor of a frat house?
If you answered yes to any of the above questions, treat your queen to any of these lovely items!

A fancy, non alcoholic cellphone charm!

Let them know a drunk yes would still be a sober yes too.


Fosters, Australian for "Cheap Gift"


Guinness hair clips for the cultured girl


Just in time for Mother's Day!


It's totally kawaii!

We hope you’ve detected our sarcasm throughout this blog post. These are absolutely horrible ideas. If you have similar items and you’ve sold them, you might have even gotten positive feedback from the buyer. This positive feedback was clearly from a gift giver, not a gift receiver. Think about the person receiving the gift. Aside from the frat guy who would post a remind on their fridge about their formal with a beer cap magnet, find a tie that coordinates with their beer cap cufflinks, and might even buy their date matching beer cap jewelry, nobody else will appreciate these as gifts. Receiving beer themed gifts when you are an adult means one of two things: the gift giver ran out of ideas so they are relying on gender stereotyped gifts or the gift giver thinks you are a slob that flaunts their drinking problem. *Notice I didn’t say anything about a frat guy liking a beer cozy. Nobody likes beer cozies, especially knitted ones. Sorry.