Wednesday, November 3, 2010

The Best

To the anonymous donator of $175, thank you. You are absolutely the best and I greatly appreciate it. You are a wonderful example of how great people can be. You are phenomenal.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Donate to the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society

Hey Guys!
So while we love to poke fun and do manly things, there is something we truly care about--cancer. While I've been taking care of my grandmother the past few months who was diagnosed in May with brain cancer, this is unfortunately not the first time I've had a run in with cancer.

On December 24, 2002 my father was diagnosed with Hodgkin's Lymphoma. It was a long, hard battle with it and being one of six children, it was a struggle for our whole family. While most kids were out enjoying their high school years, I got my little brothers and sister off to school, made sure they did their homework, cooked dinner (or heated up the many frozen pasta dishes one accumulates from family friends during cancer), cleaned, and got them off to bed while my mother and father spent all their time in the hospital after working 9-5 every day. My father, while being diagnosed with cancer, suffering from blood clot after blood clot, and being diagnosed with diabetes only months before, still worked everyday of his cancer treatment and worked his chemotherapy treatments around the weekends so he couldn't miss a day of work. I watched the strongest man I've ever known battle daily with his own body turning on him. Seeing my father pale as a ghost, watching him lose weight including his dad belly, hearing him throw up every Saturday from chemotherapy, seeing him shave his head to hide the patches of hair missing, listening to my mother sob alone in her room while my Dad was at the hospital sleeping before 50/50 chance surgeries--this was my high school experience. This is why I raise money, to hope that one day teenagers don't have to go through this... so it's not their high school experience too.

Luckily for my family, my father has been in remission for seven years and is healthy and happy. Unfortunately not all families can say the same thing. Since my Dad's diagnosis my family and friends have become huge participants in cancer fundraiser events. Since my grandmother's diagnosis, I have not been nearly as active in fund raising and I'm looking for your help. Any donation, 10 cents, a dollar, ten bucks... anything! The walk is this Saturday and I'm hoping to raise 100 bucks. I would appreciate any sort of donation and I know many families out there would also appreciate it.

I'm sorry it's not the usual funny, sarcastic, or done right mean post in the world, but I promise after the weekend I'll be back to my usual cruelness. :)

**Any reposting is greatly appreciated!!!

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Out First Treasury!

After polling the forums about how we can improve this very blog, we decided to make our first treasury. Still not sure how often we'll be posting on, but hopefully every week. Our first treasury is made up of some of the highlights of our critique thread. While there's a lot of ugly, creepy, bizarre, and terribly unmasculine shops that have posted there asking for a critique by yours truly, we have found some gems.

Check out the treasury and let me know what you think! These are all Metsy Approved Man Gifts!

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

We're back!

Hey guys and gals, I’m back! Sorry for the abrupt abandonment of the blog. Unfortunately this has been quite the hectic summer. While I was teaching at the local court appointed youth placement, my grandmother was diagnosed with cancer and has since moved in with my family. Now that summer is over I’ve become her full time care giver and I’m pleased to report she is doing better, although she is still not up to where she used to be. My other grandmother was actually hit by a car and hospitalized this summer too. It was not the best summer for Metsy grandmothers and most of my free time has been spent visiting, caring for, and hanging out with the gmoms.

Now that it is October and the Grandmoms are healing and slowly starting to recover, I am getting some more free time to be able to blog and critique again. With that being said, hide your maprons and your camouflage because I’ve got lost time to make up for and I’m coming back with guns blazing.

Sunday, June 20, 2010


Today is Father's Day... why are you looking at our blog?! Go eat breakfast, cook out, open or give out your Etsy-d Father's Day gifts, or whatever else you've got planned today! Happy Father's Day to all the Dads out there, especially ours.

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

The Caliente Mapron

Closely related to The Flaming Mapron, The Caliente Mapron tries to combine heat and men and it ends miserably. For some reason some people associate peppers with men. Not people who know men, but some people. There is nothing masculine about peppers. I mean what if I started selling aprons for when with an arbitrary fruit/veggies? Squash or tomatoes are no more feminine than peppers are masculine. Why then, are peppers masculine?

This seller goes on to explain their thought process: “The Man-pron is the perfect apron for guys. The long length and extra long waist ties will make any guy, from college guys to dads, look like real experts in the kitchen. And the Hot Chilis print will make any guy feel caliente!”

1.What the F' is a Man-Pron? It’s mapron.
2.What professional chef is decorated with peppers?
3.If some shlubby guy feels caliente because he’s wearing a mapron, this man either doesn’t know what caliente means OR he knows far too much about feeling caliente in women’s clothing/accessories. Nobody wins in this scenario.
4. Check out the sweet ass bow in the back.

What we love about this particular caliente mess of a mapron is that there is a convenient pocket at the neck region. I can’t tell you how often I am barbecuing and think “Gee golly… I wish there was a small pocket to keep an enveloped recipe card close to my esophagus in case I forget how to cook hotdogs.” The thing with grilling and barbecue is you don’t need a recipe card pocket because seldom do you need a recipe card when you are at the grill. Sure, you may need to know what goes in a steak marinade, but not at the grill. In fact, what a man should keep in this neck pocket is their man card, so somebody can take it from them as soon as they are seen wearing it.

The NSFW Caliente Mapron

For those who like the NSFW Surprise Flaming Mapron, these creepy maprons also come in Caliente.

Monday, June 14, 2010

The Flaming Mapron

Check out the first of the five most common flavor atrocities of maprons... The Flaming Mapron!

Ugga Ugga men love fire! Ugga Ugga men love cooking meat with fire! Ugga Ugga men love cooking meat with fire while wearing fire? This mapron comes from the understanding that men haven’t evolved since the cave man days, and men (like cavemen) are proud of their fire. One thing we've noticed, the selection of fire patterns hasn't evolved much either. We've found five different sellers with their own style of mapron, using the same painstakingly tacky flames. Check out how each mapron maker used the same flames for their own twist of the unmasculine.

The All Encompassing Flaming Mapron

Dad try this on. I wanted to see what you would look like if I lit you on fire.

"Born 2 Be Wild"

No man's interests on Facebook include: fire, motorcycles, and maprons.

The Incredibly Unmasculine Patchwork Flaming Mapron

Nothing says manly like patchwork! Also, only real men wear aprons without hemmed edges and apron strings...?

The Drinking Man's Mapron

Perfect for the father who wants to embarrass his children with his lack of style AND his drinking problem!

The Surprise NSFW Flaming Mapron

No words.