Sunday, June 20, 2010
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
1.What the F' is a Man-Pron? It’s mapron.
3.If some shlubby guy feels caliente because he’s wearing a mapron, this man either doesn’t know what caliente means OR he knows far too much about feeling caliente in women’s clothing/accessories. Nobody wins in this scenario.
4. Check out the sweet ass bow in the back.
What we love about this particular caliente mess of a mapron is that there is a convenient pocket at the neck region. I can’t tell you how often I am barbecuing and think “Gee golly… I wish there was a small pocket to keep an enveloped recipe card close to my esophagus in case I forget how to cook hotdogs.” The thing with grilling and barbecue is you don’t need a recipe card pocket because seldom do you need a recipe card when you are at the grill. Sure, you may need to know what goes in a steak marinade, but not at the grill. In fact, what a man should keep in this neck pocket is their man card, so somebody can take it from them as soon as they are seen wearing it.
Monday, June 14, 2010
Ugga Ugga men love fire! Ugga Ugga men love cooking meat with fire! Ugga Ugga men love cooking meat with fire while wearing fire? This mapron comes from the understanding that men haven’t evolved since the cave man days, and men (like cavemen) are proud of their fire. One thing we've noticed, the selection of fire patterns hasn't evolved much either. We've found five different sellers with their own style of mapron, using the same painstakingly tacky flames. Check out how each mapron maker used the same flames for their own twist of the unmasculine.
The All Encompassing Flaming Mapron
Dad try this on. I wanted to see what you would look like if I lit you on fire.
"Born 2 Be Wild"
No man's interests on Facebook include: fire, motorcycles, and maprons.
The Incredibly Unmasculine Patchwork Flaming Mapron
Nothing says manly like patchwork! Also, only real men wear aprons without hemmed edges and apron strings...?
The Drinking Man's Mapron
Perfect for the father who wants to embarrass his children with his lack of style AND his drinking problem!
The Surprise NSFW Flaming Mapron
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Mapron (mā’prən) n. – a fictional garment of clothing that the women of Etsy believe men actually wear during BBQ’ing, filleting fish, cooking with barbecue sauce, or other masculine cookery.
Maprons are simple creatures. In the wild, they can be seen usually in one of five types of maprons. We imagine these mapron seamstresses paced back and forth in the Jo-Ann Fabrics quilting fabric sectionwith the conundrum of finding the perfect masculine patterned fabric and decided these four types of patterned fabrics were it. Little did they know, there is nothing masculine in the Jo-Ann Fabrics quilting section. Even if they found the magical patterned fabric, assembling the pieces into a mapron automatically makes their finished product as masculine as The View.
Thursday, June 3, 2010
First, what better way of waking up than with a hot mustachioed cup of coffee? A mustache says a lot about a person. It tells you if the person is a cowboy, evil villain, or a Frenchman. Decide what your day will be like by sporting a similar mustache on your coffee cup! UptownAvenue’s 6 upcycled mustachioed stackable mugs with a holder is the perfect gift for anybody that likes starting their day with cream, sugar, and testosterone.
Maybe the morning is too early for all of this manliness. Maybe you have a mustache, but you want people to see it while you guzzle a beer instead of waiting for the mustache surprise once you put your beer down. Or maybe you just like mustaches and drinking! Whatever your reason might be, buy these mustachioed pint glasses and shot glasses. BreadandBadger’s sandblasted etched glassware is dishwasher safe and f’ing awesome.
Last but not least, we’ve got something for the ladies, alopecia patients, and prepubescent mustache aficionados. LittleAngelsJewelry is selling handmade mustache necklaces! This necklace, which was rocked by Lydia from last season’s Big Brother, is modeled after the mustache to beat all other mustaches. No, not you Tom Selleck… Mr. Pringles!
And with that, we bid you good mustache to you and good night.