Girlfriend+Bacon

It makes mathematical sense that:
Awesome+More Awesome=Awesomely Awesome.
If this makes sense, which it should then the same formula can be applied to the Equation: Girlfriend+Bacon=Awesomely Awesome.

We here at Metsy don't usually go for scarves or the crocheted, but we know the ladies love it. Show how much you love your special lady friend by giving her this lovely bacon and eggs scarf by TheHappyCrocheter. It's the ultimate compliment. It says, "Honey, the only thing that could make your more awesome is if you were covered in bacon." And let's face it, everything is a little better when it's covered in bacon. It's a compliment. She'll love it.

Keep Refrigerated

Bacon should be stored in the fridge until ready to be cooked, but don’t you wish you could just decorate with it instead? Luckily, DesignDude has created these bacon magnets so our homes aren’t covered with rotting bacon. We personally like the extra large raw magnets, but this smart man has a selection of different sizes and varieties of bacon.

These make great gifts for any guy with a fridge. Forget the felt bacon magnets or the "I <3 Bacon" magnets, these are the real deal. And they're cheap!

What a Glorious Scent

Who doesn’t like waking up to the smell of bacon? Pigs, Nazis, and my little sister going through her vegetarian phase. That’s it. Bacon is a widely loved scent but we cannot chain a person to the stove cooking it all day. There must be a better solution. The folks at Bleating Hearts Soap & Candle Company found that solution in their 11oz. Soy Bacon Candles.

While this seller suggests “Fool your room mates or boyfriend and fill your kitchen with the smokey smell of false hopes!” we hope if you plan on fooling your boyfriend with this candle, you do plan on making real bacon within the hour. Otherwise you’d be a jerk. A boyfriendless jerk..

Find The Bacon!

You may remember me promising a bacon week. Well guess what… It’s here! Check in throughout the week to find fun bacon flavored homemade items. As the bacon is cooking and we get together our bacon themed items, log on to Etsy and try to win your very own bacon-y things. Yes, win not buy. Etsy’s Team Bacon has hidden the bacon. Stop these tricksters and find the bacon that they’ve hidden. Below is the official blog post by Etsy’s Team Bacon”

“Etsy's Team Bacon! is proud to present our Hide the Bacon Challenge! The challenge will begin on May 17 and will end Friday, May 21. Team Bacon is giving away more than 25 prizes! Members of Team Bacon have hidden this image in the second photo of one of the listings in their shop:

When you see the "Emergency Bacon" image provided by Team Bacon member Keith of MindlessPursuits, copy or write down the URL of each listing. Remember, the Emergency Bacon image will be in the second photo spot of the listing. There will only be one bacon image per shop. The first one is on us, so click here for a freebee!

Winners will need to find 20 images to receive a prize from one of our Team Bacon shops. Here is a comprehensive list of our team shops. There are over 25 prizes to be given away, so almost everyone can win... *if* you can find the bacon! An easy way to search may be to use Etsy's search tool for our teambacon tag, or you can click on the link. Winners can contact teambaconcontest@gmail.com and be able to identify 20 listings with the Bacon Emergency logo.

Look for our thread in the Promotions forum on Etsy to talk to our members, get hints or just to goof off with us.”

-Etsy Team Bacon

Okay you go find the bacon, we’ll start blogging/critiquing shops. We’ll be back around lunch.

A Man's Honest Opinion

Are your duct tape wallets collecting dust? Are your man bags sticking out like sore, unsold thumbs? Maybe you have a line of maprons that you think are macho. Maybe your heart is breaking at the lack of hearts your man jewelry is getting.
Well if you are looking for genuine, 100% manly advice and criticism from your new favorite blog, you're in luck! Currently we are critiquing shops at:

http://www.etsy.com/forums_thread.php?thread_id=6514621&page=1

Post your shop, give us a shout out, and we will gladly give your shop the up and down. Maybe if we really like you we may even feature you on this awesomely cool, badass, manly blog. Or we might make fun of you at a much later time.


PS-If you post maprons, you will be made fun of. Nobody likes a mapron.

Toys for Grown Up Boys

Being a man doesn't mean you have to throw away your old toys. I mean, what kind of a world would it be without Green Army Men, Rock Em' Sock Em' Robots, or Space Invaders? Yeah, a world not worth living in. Unfortunately, society says it's inappropriate to have toys if we're grown ups... Screw society. Better yet, outsmart society.

Thanks to the wonderful sellers at Etsy, we can enjoy our toys as men. In a professional, adult way that doesn't make it look like our homes will be featured on "How to Catch a Predator." Check out these items that will update your home, apartment, man cave, or swanky dorm room with blast from the past.

Poor green army men... We loved you so much as a small man children, unfortunately we are larger men now and we cannot play with you anymore. Our dogs loved you too and our moms didn't enjoy it when casualties happened and Lucky vomited up your dismembered bodies. Plus, it really hurts when you walk on them in the night. Now, we can enjoy you and your loyal protection from invaders again.

Yes, that's a fancy Green Army Men bowl by AmongtheZinnias. This bowl is made by the fallen soldiers we once cherished as children. We're pretty sure this inspired by the ancient Nordic tradition of melting down dead soldiers and forming them into decorative bowls perfect for paper, nic-nacs, or car keys. Yes, definitely an ancient Nordic tradition.


Another Etsy seller who likes to use the bodies of our fallen heroes from the past is coolstoppers. Let's face it, wine is not really manly. It may be romantic, classy, or hip, but it ain't manly. Coolstoppers fixed that. They've repurposed the deceased boxers we know fondly as the Rock Em' Sock Em' robots and made them into wine stoppers. Classy, meet manly.

These would make great gifts for the wine drinker, fighter, or lover of small plastic robots in your life. This is an example of alcohol+Etsy that makes sense, unlike these gifts.

Okay, wine isn't your style, but you do like the direction this post was going with the robots... Check out these Transformer glasses by MossandWillow. Do not be surprised if after buying these your kitchen gets destroyed because they've transformed in your cupboard. Actually be surprised. Don't be surprised if everyone thinks you're awesome. That definitely will happen.

Now what childhood Etsy blogpost would be complete without looking at some fantastic items that combine video games with handmade creations.

Space Invaders has invaded Etsy--specifically, the Housewares section.

These quilted cushions are BAD ASS. Why are these cushions badass? Well...
1. SPACE INVADERS.
2. The quilted print features mini space invaders (also sold at voodoorabbit)
3. SPACE INVADERS, dammit!

These cushions have 81 quilted patches and come in three different Space Invader styles. Voodoorabbit, we salute you.

Did the wife or girlfriend already take over the living room with non-awesome pillows? Is your mancave without a couch deserving of these awesome pillows? Try these space invaders magnets and play Space Invaders on your fridge without a TV, electricity, or a arcade game.

Like we've already established, Space Invaders = BADASS. LittleMommaErin somehow managed to make magnets fun. Our suggestion, buy a buttload of these and recreate the world's favorite arcade game on your fridge. That, or hang up pictures or A+ papers or something.

You may have noticed we have been talking about childhood toys and video games but we've left out one major chunk of all of our childhoods. A certain Italian man. Yes, Mario. Check back later for our homage to Mario, Luigi, Yoshi, and the world of Etsy.

Huzzah!

We here at Metsy would love to announce that http://www.kathleenmcgiveron.com/ has just announced us as their blog of the month! We feel honored and would love to thank them so much for that! We promised ourselves we wouldn't cry...


Anybody following, reading but not following (who should follow us anyhow), or those who have stumbled across this blog in confusion... Check out her fantasticly awesome blog here!




...or here!


Be sure to follow and comment. Us bloggers never really know who's out there reading unless you show your support.

Beer + Etsy

When Etsy sellers sit around brainstorming how to reach the male market, one of the first things to pop into their heads is beer. Simple enough. Men like beer. They’d probably enjoy something I’m already good at making, just with a beer twist (off). We couldn’t pass up that bad joke.

Let it be known, most of the times this is not a good plan. In fact, it’s a rather ridiculous plan. Let’s review.

Beer + Yarn

Ah, the beer cozy. Nothing says masculine like going and grabbing a crocheted sleeve for your beer because the can is too cold. It even adds a certain flair to your Pabst Blue Ribbon. You’ll be the subject of envy with all of your guy friends with these fine beer cozies:

This seller loves PBR so much they photographed their cozy with a Budweiser.


Football AND Beer? How can you lose?


This beer cozy knows you'll be made fun of.

Beer Bottle Caps
Oh the endless possibilities! One of the easiest ways to upcycle someone’s drinking problem is by making use of all of those pesky bottle caps laying around. Who would have thought beer bottle caps could make such great…

Cuff links
Because who says an event that calls for cufflinks has to be classy?

Bedazzler
Add some flare to your regular accessories and make every man wonder, how can someone be so cool?

Total. Badass.

Casual alcoholism.


Professional alcoholism.

Magnets

Honestly we don’t know how these actually sell. It’s just bottle caps + superglue or a glue gun + magnets bought at a craft store. We can’t even think of something clever to say because we are that mad that people don’t see how easy that is to make at home.

Stupid magnets.


Really, just go buy a six pack and some magnets...

Gifts for that Special Girl in your Life

Is she extremely proud of her beer bong skills? Did you two meet at a frat party? Does she smell like a frat house? Does she want to appear as if she rolled around on the floor of a frat house?
If you answered yes to any of the above questions, treat your queen to any of these lovely items!

A fancy, non alcoholic cellphone charm!

Let them know a drunk yes would still be a sober yes too.


Fosters, Australian for "Cheap Gift"


Guinness hair clips for the cultured girl


Just in time for Mother's Day!


It's totally kawaii!

We hope you’ve detected our sarcasm throughout this blog post. These are absolutely horrible ideas. If you have similar items and you’ve sold them, you might have even gotten positive feedback from the buyer. This positive feedback was clearly from a gift giver, not a gift receiver. Think about the person receiving the gift. Aside from the frat guy who would post a remind on their fridge about their formal with a beer cap magnet, find a tie that coordinates with their beer cap cufflinks, and might even buy their date matching beer cap jewelry, nobody else will appreciate these as gifts. Receiving beer themed gifts when you are an adult means one of two things: the gift giver ran out of ideas so they are relying on gender stereotyped gifts or the gift giver thinks you are a slob that flaunts their drinking problem. *Notice I didn’t say anything about a frat guy liking a beer cozy. Nobody likes beer cozies, especially knitted ones. Sorry.

Secret Agent Librarian

In no way are we trying to feed into the stereotype that men don't read. We read all of the time. In fact, some of us even have a good ol' fashioned BA in English. Just to clear the air, men do like reading.

Something a man might like more than reading, however, is being a spy. Yes, a spy.

Now you might be thinking, who the hell is selling random books on etsy? Metsy mentioned something about being a spy yet they post a picture of books...

These aren't your run of the mill English survey class collection of books, no these are safes. Let me explain... When you were little did you ever watch a favorite TV character go to their bookshelf, open a book and pull out money, a drink, or a weapon? Well since the days of less censored television, we always wanted a hollowed out book to keep secretive things in. Well the good people of ScreaminMonkeyCircus answered my childhood prayers. This shop hollows each book BY HAND. No power tools, no electricity... just pure man power. They've got a full list of books ready to be hollowed out and filled with secret things... things nobody should ever know about. That or candy.

For those about to rock on etsy, we salute you

Have a musician in your life? What about an avid air guitarist? What about an all around badass that has everything? Check. This. Out.:

Yeah, that’s a cutting board. Impressed? Check this out and prepared to be cleaning up for the rest of the day because your mind is about to be blown.

Yes, tauntongreen doesn’t just make badass guitar shaped cutting boards from exotic wood, they also make custom guitar bodies. Now I can barely clap on a beat and I barely pass a song if Guitar Hero is on Medium, but even I can see that this shop is quite the one-stop-shop for the Etsy guitarist. If you or a loved one is a guitarist (or would like to appear be one) heart these guys right now. Seriously—open up a new tab and heart them, we’ll wait… Do it? Good. Now go buy their stuff.